Thank you to all of our friends and family for your support during our engagement. The last few months have been busy and exciting with wedding preparations going on in US and India.
On Friday, December 10th we will officially get married in an intimate civil ceremony in Alexandria, VA at 3:30pm. Immediate family from both sides will be in attendance. After a celebration at our home, we will head to Dulles airport and board our flight for India. Just 17 hours later we will be halfway around the world and beginning the colorful celebration. We will be greeted in Jodhpur, India by Abhijeet's family. More friends and family will then join us in Jodhpur over the next week or so.
The official Indian reception in Jodhpur will be held on December 24, 2010. We are looking forward to henna, a red sari, music, and lots of pictures. We will try to update the blog with pictures and stories as often as possible so that loved ones around the world can share in the celebration.
Dec 7, 2010
**NEW**Wedding Reception, Dec. 24
I was most nervous about the big reception on December 24th, but found that the day went quite smoothly and I had many comforting faces around me (old and new family) to make for a wonderful day. After breakfast, we began preparations for the first event of the day, myra (family comes for lunch and to give gifts to the bride). I dressed (or shall I say, I was dressed since I still had not yet learned how to wrap myself properly in a sari or lehenga choli) in a brilliant blue Rajasthani lehenga choli. We then headed over to the marriage garden where we were met by Abhijeet's family who had all gathered for the occasion. I joined the women huddled in one side and Abhijeet joined the men. We were then marked with the red tilak to celebrate the big day. The drummer who had played for us in the village had come to Jodhpur for our wedding reception and played for the afternoon. While he played, several female family members performed traditional Rajasthani dance. After that, guests started to head over to the tables for lunch. We went around greeting guests and encouraging them to enjoy their lunch. As you can see from the pictures, Ankur made sure that everyone finished their meal with some Indian sweets.
Soon after the afternoon event, it was soon time for the ladies to head to the beauty parlor. I was accompanied by my USA guests and my Indian surrogate family member, Garima. The beautifying process began with a cleansing and face massage with aloe vera cream which helped relieve any nervousness that I might have felt about the day. Leah volunteered use of her makeup and the ladies in the beauty parlor started their work. I had been warned by my Indian hairdresser in the US and by another Indian friend about the amount of makeup they try to put on you for Indian weddings, so I was feeling anxious about how I would look at the end of the session. My experience, however, was fabulous. The women stopped after each application to see if I , Leah, and my friends liked it and Garima was by my side to translate if we needed any changes. As I was being made up, the other ladies got help from the beauty parlor women with putting on their saris. When we walked out of their we all looked like a million dollars (I mean a million rupees).
Back at the house, Abhijeet had also been preparing for the evening and looked like a royal maharaja in his sherwani.
We were escorted (by car) over to the marriage garden and walked together on to the stage that was awaiting us for the evening. As soon as we arrived, the greeting process began. Each family in attendance would come greet us on the stage and pose for a picture. The evening actually flew by with a whir of guests coming in a steady stream to the stage. Earlier in the day, Abhijeet's dad had prepped me by explaining that in Indian tradition brides do not shake hands with men but instead greet with hands folded and "Namaste". He warned that guest might try to shake my hand since I am a westerner, but that it would be appropriate for me to follow Indian custom for the wedding. I was happy for the cultural guidance and found it easy to follow these simple instructions when tested by several male guests to shake their hand. Apparently several guests commented to Abhijeet's family about my cultural awareness. I had still not learned enough Hindi to communicate properly, so I was satisfied to at the least communicate this one gesture properly for the wedding. One of the last guests to greet us was Abhijeet's uncle who decided to dance for us. He said to Abhijeet that we would always remember that he danced for us at our wedding and I am sure we will since he is the only one who danced that evening. After all of the greeting and picture taking, we finally settled down to eat after most of the other guests had left.
Soon after the afternoon event, it was soon time for the ladies to head to the beauty parlor. I was accompanied by my USA guests and my Indian surrogate family member, Garima. The beautifying process began with a cleansing and face massage with aloe vera cream which helped relieve any nervousness that I might have felt about the day. Leah volunteered use of her makeup and the ladies in the beauty parlor started their work. I had been warned by my Indian hairdresser in the US and by another Indian friend about the amount of makeup they try to put on you for Indian weddings, so I was feeling anxious about how I would look at the end of the session. My experience, however, was fabulous. The women stopped after each application to see if I , Leah, and my friends liked it and Garima was by my side to translate if we needed any changes. As I was being made up, the other ladies got help from the beauty parlor women with putting on their saris. When we walked out of their we all looked like a million dollars (I mean a million rupees).
Back at the house, Abhijeet had also been preparing for the evening and looked like a royal maharaja in his sherwani.
We were escorted (by car) over to the marriage garden and walked together on to the stage that was awaiting us for the evening. As soon as we arrived, the greeting process began. Each family in attendance would come greet us on the stage and pose for a picture. The evening actually flew by with a whir of guests coming in a steady stream to the stage. Earlier in the day, Abhijeet's dad had prepped me by explaining that in Indian tradition brides do not shake hands with men but instead greet with hands folded and "Namaste". He warned that guest might try to shake my hand since I am a westerner, but that it would be appropriate for me to follow Indian custom for the wedding. I was happy for the cultural guidance and found it easy to follow these simple instructions when tested by several male guests to shake their hand. Apparently several guests commented to Abhijeet's family about my cultural awareness. I had still not learned enough Hindi to communicate properly, so I was satisfied to at the least communicate this one gesture properly for the wedding. One of the last guests to greet us was Abhijeet's uncle who decided to dance for us. He said to Abhijeet that we would always remember that he danced for us at our wedding and I am sure we will since he is the only one who danced that evening. After all of the greeting and picture taking, we finally settled down to eat after most of the other guests had left.
**NEW** Henna; Arrival of Leah; Sharing scrapbook with family friends; And Last minute Sari shopping, Dec. 23
December 23rd was another busy day. I had a fabulous surprise for me in the morning. At breakfast, Angie presented me with an album containing letters and pictures from all of my friends and family back in the US expressing their thoughts and congratulations for our wedding. I was overwhelmed with the warmth and kindness of so many people who cared about me. It was just what I needed to remember all of the people who are important in my life around the world. I can't imagine any better wedding gift. I was so overjoyed, that I burst into tears at the breakfast table. Abhijeet's mom quickly came over and tried to console me. Angie tried explaining that in US culture, sometimes we cry out of great joy and fulfillment. His mom, however, was just worried that something was wrong, as she explained that in Indian culture crying only means there is a problem.
It was down to the last day and we were still pulling things together for the big December 24th reception. Throughout the whole trip I was amazed by the way that Abhijeet's family seemed cool and relaxed even though some final preparations were still being made in the last days. My overly organized planner self could never be so relaxed or let anything to the last minute. I learned, however, on the last day that being flexible can be a good thing. Leah and Justin arrived on December 23rd and got thrown right into the Indian wedding planning mode. I went to pick them up at the airport with my henna still drying on my arms. With arms outstretched, it was probably very taboo for me to be out like this the day before our reception, but everyone understood that it was important for me to pick up my sister at the airport. As soon as we got back to the house, Leah got to sit back and have the girls start working on the henna on her hands. In the evening, family came over for dinner. A young girl who was learning English in school and was eager to practice with me helped keep me company and relax for the evening.
Abhijeet's mom told them about my album and asked if I would share it with the guests. After I brought it out, I realized that several of the pictures showed me either in short dresses or tank tops that might shock the family. I whispered my concern to Abhijeet and one of the woman who understands English better than I realized said, "No, it's ok!". They were all in awe of the scrapbook and the kindness of my friends. They were also curious about what my life looks like in the US. Even though I was at first concerned about my dress in many of the pictures, I later realized that this was a point of cultural sharing in which they could get a glimpse of my life and friends in the US. Next time I come, I will make sure to bring more pictures and items from my life to share since everyone was genuinely interested and I was also anxious for them to get to know me.
The night did not stop there. As soon as we shared the fact that Leah and Dorothy still needed something to wear to the reception, the women all started giving input about what they should wear, the best place to buy it, and when they should get it. The conversation soon turned into an impromptu shopping trip at about 9:30pm with the goal of purchasing a sari for Leah and Dorothy. A few women went along and ensured that they got good service and the best price. At one point the shop keeper was so determined to sell them a designer sari that he wrapped it around himself for demonstration. All of the women advised Leah to keep looking and eventually they ended the night with great saris for the best price. What better way to bring together women from across the world than with shopping!
It was down to the last day and we were still pulling things together for the big December 24th reception. Throughout the whole trip I was amazed by the way that Abhijeet's family seemed cool and relaxed even though some final preparations were still being made in the last days. My overly organized planner self could never be so relaxed or let anything to the last minute. I learned, however, on the last day that being flexible can be a good thing. Leah and Justin arrived on December 23rd and got thrown right into the Indian wedding planning mode. I went to pick them up at the airport with my henna still drying on my arms. With arms outstretched, it was probably very taboo for me to be out like this the day before our reception, but everyone understood that it was important for me to pick up my sister at the airport. As soon as we got back to the house, Leah got to sit back and have the girls start working on the henna on her hands. In the evening, family came over for dinner. A young girl who was learning English in school and was eager to practice with me helped keep me company and relax for the evening.
Abhijeet's mom told them about my album and asked if I would share it with the guests. After I brought it out, I realized that several of the pictures showed me either in short dresses or tank tops that might shock the family. I whispered my concern to Abhijeet and one of the woman who understands English better than I realized said, "No, it's ok!". They were all in awe of the scrapbook and the kindness of my friends. They were also curious about what my life looks like in the US. Even though I was at first concerned about my dress in many of the pictures, I later realized that this was a point of cultural sharing in which they could get a glimpse of my life and friends in the US. Next time I come, I will make sure to bring more pictures and items from my life to share since everyone was genuinely interested and I was also anxious for them to get to know me.
The night did not stop there. As soon as we shared the fact that Leah and Dorothy still needed something to wear to the reception, the women all started giving input about what they should wear, the best place to buy it, and when they should get it. The conversation soon turned into an impromptu shopping trip at about 9:30pm with the goal of purchasing a sari for Leah and Dorothy. A few women went along and ensured that they got good service and the best price. At one point the shop keeper was so determined to sell them a designer sari that he wrapped it around himself for demonstration. All of the women advised Leah to keep looking and eventually they ended the night with great saris for the best price. What better way to bring together women from across the world than with shopping!
**NEW**Arrival of Angie and Dorothy; Shopping around Jodhpur; and Dinner with family friends, Dec. 21-23
After a few low key days, we began preparations for the arrival of the "USA guests". In the time that they had there, we wanted them to experience the best of Jodhpur, including family, sites, and let's not forget those delicious samosas! As our guest arrived, I felt proud and comforted in the fact that I could be their cultural navigator. I was excited to point out favorite sites or scenes in the city because it made me feel like I had really learned something about life here. My knowledge, of course, was very limited, but I still was eager to share. It was also fun to watch the eyes of newcomers take in the sites, smells, and feelings of Jodhpur. Amidst this all, of course, we were also busily preparing for the big reception on December 24th.
We spent the day doing errands, shopping, and giving them a taste of Jodhpur. We began our shopping excursion at what Abhijeet likes to refer to as the Indian Wal-Mart, a store called National Handloom. The store sells everything you might want in India from saris to toys to handicraft. I had already been there several times so I was mostly enjoying the experience of it. We started in the women's clothing section looking for a sari or lehenga choli for Dorothy and Leah. The visitors got a taste of the savy shopping skills of Abhijeet's mom. It would not be until later that they would get to witness her expert bargaining skills. While waiting for Dorothy to try on shoes in the shoe department, we got silly with the camera. I picked up a few hats for me, Angie, and Abhijeet's mom and we smiled for one of my favorite candid pictures from the trip. Abhijeet's mom, who has a sense of humor that brightens everyone's day, aptly titled the picture "Three Monkeys".
On the way back home, Angie requested that we stop to pick up a diet coke to satisfy her craving. Since they did not sell it at National Handloom (they only had Indian brand Thumbs Up cola or lemon flavored Limca), we decided to stop at the "fancy gas station store". While Angie was inside making her purchase, Abhijeet and I passed the time by snapping a few pictures with the handicraft that were for sale in front of the gas station (I told you it was the fancy gas station store). As soon as Angie came out, the owner came out with his very impressive camera and asked if we would pose for a picture with his wife in front of the store. Abhijeet replied that the first two were free, but after that we would start charging. The owner then proceeded to snap away several pictures of his two lovely blonde models. I fully expect to see a poster advertisement for the fancy gas station with a picture of me and Angie next time I return to Jodhpur.
On December 22 evening, we went to have dinner with another family. The parents, 2 daughters, son, and their respective families were all present. The whole family had been very helpful with all of the wedding preparations, so I felt like I was starting to get to know them. We started with a delicious traditional dinner and then relaxed for conversation. Since by this time there were 2 other Americans with me, the family made great efforts to use their English to keep a group conversation going. I was impressed by what they knew and excited that we were bridging the communication gap. At the end of the evening, they presented Abhijeet's mom and I with a sari. They then presented bangles to both American guests. Even though Angie's wrists seemed too big for the bangles, she wanted to offer her appreciation by trying them on. With the help of Abhijeet's mom massaging her wrists to slide them on, she finally got them to fit and we all had a good laugh and cheer.
We spent the day doing errands, shopping, and giving them a taste of Jodhpur. We began our shopping excursion at what Abhijeet likes to refer to as the Indian Wal-Mart, a store called National Handloom. The store sells everything you might want in India from saris to toys to handicraft. I had already been there several times so I was mostly enjoying the experience of it. We started in the women's clothing section looking for a sari or lehenga choli for Dorothy and Leah. The visitors got a taste of the savy shopping skills of Abhijeet's mom. It would not be until later that they would get to witness her expert bargaining skills. While waiting for Dorothy to try on shoes in the shoe department, we got silly with the camera. I picked up a few hats for me, Angie, and Abhijeet's mom and we smiled for one of my favorite candid pictures from the trip. Abhijeet's mom, who has a sense of humor that brightens everyone's day, aptly titled the picture "Three Monkeys".
On the way back home, Angie requested that we stop to pick up a diet coke to satisfy her craving. Since they did not sell it at National Handloom (they only had Indian brand Thumbs Up cola or lemon flavored Limca), we decided to stop at the "fancy gas station store". While Angie was inside making her purchase, Abhijeet and I passed the time by snapping a few pictures with the handicraft that were for sale in front of the gas station (I told you it was the fancy gas station store). As soon as Angie came out, the owner came out with his very impressive camera and asked if we would pose for a picture with his wife in front of the store. Abhijeet replied that the first two were free, but after that we would start charging. The owner then proceeded to snap away several pictures of his two lovely blonde models. I fully expect to see a poster advertisement for the fancy gas station with a picture of me and Angie next time I return to Jodhpur.
On December 22 evening, we went to have dinner with another family. The parents, 2 daughters, son, and their respective families were all present. The whole family had been very helpful with all of the wedding preparations, so I felt like I was starting to get to know them. We started with a delicious traditional dinner and then relaxed for conversation. Since by this time there were 2 other Americans with me, the family made great efforts to use their English to keep a group conversation going. I was impressed by what they knew and excited that we were bridging the communication gap. At the end of the evening, they presented Abhijeet's mom and I with a sari. They then presented bangles to both American guests. Even though Angie's wrists seemed too big for the bangles, she wanted to offer her appreciation by trying them on. With the help of Abhijeet's mom massaging her wrists to slide them on, she finally got them to fit and we all had a good laugh and cheer.
A few more days of wedding preparation, Dec 17-20
After a hectic first few days in Jodhpur, we then had a few very relaxing days. We only had to do a few family/friend visits, so we could spend most of our time doing errands, sight seeing, or relaxing. His parents were mostly involved in last minute wedding preparations. One of our favorite wedding preparation stories involves the invitations. When we arrived, we noted the hundreds of invitations that were all around the house. Within a short time, it soon came out, that Abhijeet's parents planned to hand deliver all of the invitations. Remember that at this point the wedding reception is only 2 weeks away. The two sons somehow managed to convince their father that he should only deliver the invitations in Jodhpur and just mail the invitations to other places around the state of Rajasthan. Even with that change, they still have been running around every day delivering invitations and making personal visits. We thought that they were being unreasonable, but soon realized that everyone does in fact expect them to do this. One family member came to visit the house and his parents tried to give them the invitation. They refused to take it and insisted that the invitation was hand delivered to their house. In another case, a staff member at the school where Abhijeet's mom teaches wanted to meet me with delivery of the invitation. She was so upset that she did not meet me that she was crying profusely. She will of course meet me at the reception on December 24th, but she wanted to meet me then.
The other wedding preparations involve dresses and jewelry. Abhijeet's mom makes sure that I have enough bangles to go with every outfit so that I never need to go without them. Yesterday she bought me some with pearl design because she noticed that I was wearing pearl earrings. She has been spoiling me incredibly with an array of saris, lehenga suits, and jewelry.
The evening then came when it was time for Abhijeet to pick out his wedding reception outfit. He would be wearing a sherwani (long tunic type jacket with embroidered decoration) for the occasion. It was supposed to be something of a male outing when he went to pick it out but since they did not want to leave me home alone, I got to join in the shopping experience. We went to the city center to a tailor shop that sold several varieties of sherwanis. I thoroughly enjoyed watching him try on sherwani after sherwani as we watched and gave our input. Unfortunately it was at the time of day when jet lag kicked in the worst, but he was a trooper and kept trying on each shewani that the shopkeeper handed him. You can see the final choice in pictures from the reception.
The other wedding preparations involve dresses and jewelry. Abhijeet's mom makes sure that I have enough bangles to go with every outfit so that I never need to go without them. Yesterday she bought me some with pearl design because she noticed that I was wearing pearl earrings. She has been spoiling me incredibly with an array of saris, lehenga suits, and jewelry.
The evening then came when it was time for Abhijeet to pick out his wedding reception outfit. He would be wearing a sherwani (long tunic type jacket with embroidered decoration) for the occasion. It was supposed to be something of a male outing when he went to pick it out but since they did not want to leave me home alone, I got to join in the shopping experience. We went to the city center to a tailor shop that sold several varieties of sherwanis. I thoroughly enjoyed watching him try on sherwani after sherwani as we watched and gave our input. Unfortunately it was at the time of day when jet lag kicked in the worst, but he was a trooper and kept trying on each shewani that the shopkeeper handed him. You can see the final choice in pictures from the reception.
Visit to the grandfather's village, Dec. 16
If this marriage and wedding has been filled with contrasts, then this day was a perfect example. We woke up after a night in the luxury Taj Hotel which was a gift from friends and family. After breakfast and relaxing, we were picked up by Abhijeet's family. I was asked if I wanted to go visit his grandfather's village and I felt very honored since I know that he is a very traditional and respected elder of the family. After a few more stops along the way, we loaded up the jeep with all 9 of us and headed out for the village. I was forewarned that village life is very simple without electricity or plumbing, but I didn't even notice this at all on our visit. The surrounding desert was serene, calm, and pure. We arrived and greeted his grandfather as well as a drummer. We then were seated and some family members began to prepare us with some traditional wedding garb. As it turns out, we went through a few of the old marriage traditions with this small group of family in the village. We did a small walk, a few traditions, and were then blessed by parents and grandfather. My favorite tradition, however, was one that I had learned about prior to my India trip. A ring is placed in a bowl of water and both bride and groom have to stick their hands in to find it. We play for 5 rounds and whoever wins the most is said to be the one who will "run the show" in the marriage. Needless to say, with my prior knowledge and my sheer determination, I won 4 out of 5 rounds. Oh, I forgot to also mention that the tradition allowed me to use both hands while Abhijeet could only use one hand. Abhijeet's favorite tradition was getting to carry a sword in his hand. He was feeling quite the king that day! We left the village by night fall to head back to Jodhpur. We were crammed close in the jeep, and as Abhijeet says, my family likes us to be close and get to know each other, literally!
Welcome Party, Dec 15
By the morning, my henna was set and we were beginning preparations for the party at the new house. Abhijeet got dressed up in his suit and tie and I had a pink sari laid out for me to wear. Two ladies who are family came by to help me prepare and get beautiful for the occasion. I was nervous about what to expect, but looked at this as a good practice for the big reception on December 24th.
We were whisked away (late of course) from the old house to the new house in a car of a family friend decorated with flowers for the occasion. It was very cute. We were greeted by family and a set of drummers at the gate. We did a few traditions at the gate and then entered to begin greeting guests.
After greeting the guests, we were allowed to relax in the back bedroom as the women did traditional dance inside and the men began eating outside. The afternoon passed quickly as I was able to relax a bit with the company of women my age and Abhijeet in the back room. After the dance finished and the drummers left, we went outside for more socializing and eventually we ate with Abhijeet's family. I met several members of both my mother-in-law and father-in-laws family and tried as best as possible to remember who they all were. We got to have my favorite Indian sweet, gulab jamon as part of the meal so I was very pleased with that!
At around 6:00pm we left the party because Abhijeet had a surprise to share with me. Angie (my close friend) had organized my friends and family to treat us to a night at the luxurious Taj Hari Hotel in Jodhpur for a relaxing night that could be our honeymoon amidst the busy celebrations. I was flattered and honored by this amazing gesture and excited to have some time away from the festivities to relax and gear up for more celebration. Thanks to Angie for organizing and everyone who contributed to this gift for a great night of honeymoon during our wedding festivities. We ended the hectic day with a toast of amazing champagne that was sent as a surprise gift from Vikram.
We were whisked away (late of course) from the old house to the new house in a car of a family friend decorated with flowers for the occasion. It was very cute. We were greeted by family and a set of drummers at the gate. We did a few traditions at the gate and then entered to begin greeting guests.
After greeting the guests, we were allowed to relax in the back bedroom as the women did traditional dance inside and the men began eating outside. The afternoon passed quickly as I was able to relax a bit with the company of women my age and Abhijeet in the back room. After the dance finished and the drummers left, we went outside for more socializing and eventually we ate with Abhijeet's family. I met several members of both my mother-in-law and father-in-laws family and tried as best as possible to remember who they all were. We got to have my favorite Indian sweet, gulab jamon as part of the meal so I was very pleased with that!
At around 6:00pm we left the party because Abhijeet had a surprise to share with me. Angie (my close friend) had organized my friends and family to treat us to a night at the luxurious Taj Hari Hotel in Jodhpur for a relaxing night that could be our honeymoon amidst the busy celebrations. I was flattered and honored by this amazing gesture and excited to have some time away from the festivities to relax and gear up for more celebration. Thanks to Angie for organizing and everyone who contributed to this gift for a great night of honeymoon during our wedding festivities. We ended the hectic day with a toast of amazing champagne that was sent as a surprise gift from Vikram.
Henna, Dec 14
Day two in Jodhpur started with a delicious breakfast of aloo parantas (potato filled patties). By early afternoon, several students from the school where Abhijeet's mom teaches arrived to do my henna. I was really excited about having henna and began with great interest and patience while the girls painted intricate designs on my hands and forearms. The girls chatter, giggles, curiosity, and excitement helped me to relax. Even though I didn't understand much of what they said, my relaxed state allowed me to at least piece together a few words in Hindi from the conversation. I realized afterwards that most other times that Hindi was being used all around me I was too stressed out or nervous to understand much of anything.
The whole henna process took almost 3 hours to complete and at several points all 5 girls were working on me from different angles. I was amazed at not only their individual talent and artistry but at their ability to create a unified design while all working on different aspects. The girls were so likable that they even convinced both Abhijeet and Vikram to get a small henna design on one hand each. In this afternoon, I also learned an important Hindi phrase. When the girls asked how much Hindi I speak, I heard Abhijeet reply "thori thori" which means little little. This phrase became very helpful in future social situations when people asked if I spoke Hindi. The fact that I could respond was much better than just a blank stare and the cuteness of the phrase just made people laugh and move on from the fact that I don't really know that much Hindi.
The end result of the henna can be seen in the picasa picture album.
The whole henna process took almost 3 hours to complete and at several points all 5 girls were working on me from different angles. I was amazed at not only their individual talent and artistry but at their ability to create a unified design while all working on different aspects. The girls were so likable that they even convinced both Abhijeet and Vikram to get a small henna design on one hand each. In this afternoon, I also learned an important Hindi phrase. When the girls asked how much Hindi I speak, I heard Abhijeet reply "thori thori" which means little little. This phrase became very helpful in future social situations when people asked if I spoke Hindi. The fact that I could respond was much better than just a blank stare and the cuteness of the phrase just made people laugh and move on from the fact that I don't really know that much Hindi.
The end result of the henna can be seen in the picasa picture album.
First few days in Jodhpur
From the moment we stepped foot in Jodhpur, Rajasthan, India (the city where Abhijeet's family lives) it was a whirlwind of activity with no break for the next 3 days. At the airport, we loaded up the family jeep and headed back to what is known as the old house. His family bought a new house which they are gradually moving into. It was the first time in nearly 10 years that the whole family, mother, father, Abhijeet, and Vikram were all together so it was an emotional and exciting time. When we arrived at the house, we went through a few of the marriage traditions that usually occur the day after an Indian marriage when the bride and groom go to the house of the groom's family. Traditionally the order of events should be henna party with bride day one, marriage and reception on day two, and then entrance to groom's family house on day three. Since we are doing things a little differently, the order has been changed a bit. We did a small version of the entrance to the groom's family house celebration on our arrival to Jodhpur on December 13th to the old house, henna on December 14th, a bigger celebration of welcome to the house in the new house on December 15th, henna again on December 23, and big (huge!) wedding reception on December 24th.
Once inside the house, we had tea, lunch, and began to talk about plans for the next few days. I was shown the many dresses (sari's, lehenga , etc) and jewelry that were bought for me. Just like we wear our engagement ring and wedding band in the US to show that we are married women, Indian women wear bangles and a mangal sutra (necklace with two chains of black beads).
Once inside the house, we had tea, lunch, and began to talk about plans for the next few days. I was shown the many dresses (sari's, lehenga , etc) and jewelry that were bought for me. Just like we wear our engagement ring and wedding band in the US to show that we are married women, Indian women wear bangles and a mangal sutra (necklace with two chains of black beads).
Arrival in India, Dec 12
December 10th was a very busy day. We had a photo shoot, got married, and arrived at Dulles airport by 8:00pm ready to head to India for more celebration. By the time we got to the check in line at the airport, we were very tired. Unfortunately, this was the time that Turkish Airlines system went down and forced us to wait in that line for at least one and a half hours. At one point, I just plopped down on the floor and leaned against Abhijeet's legs in an attempt to get some rest. Eventually we did get through that line and reached only a short line for security. I was confused when I set off the alarm for the body scanner and had to receive a pat down. It didn't take long, however, to realize that the 30 or so bobby pins that Leah put in my hair for the updo had caused the alarm to go off. With just a few minutes to spare, we finally reached the gate and boarded the airplane.
Seventeen hours later we were in Delhi, India. As the sun came out to start a new day, we too began the next stage of our wedding celebration extravaganza. For lunch, we went out to eat with 2 other couples who live in Delhi. The guys all know each other from their university days at IIT Delhi. At one point during lunch, the topic of how each couple met, decided to marry, and shared news with family came up. One couple was an arranged marriage, another was an intercaste love marriage, and then there was us. It was both humorous and comforting to exchange these stories.
On Monday morning, we woke up and made a plan to get Vikram to his visa appointment and all of us to the airport for our 2:00pm flight from Delhi to Jodhpur. It was down to the wire, but luckily Vikram's visa appointment went smoothly and we were all able to head together to Jodhpur.
Seventeen hours later we were in Delhi, India. As the sun came out to start a new day, we too began the next stage of our wedding celebration extravaganza. For lunch, we went out to eat with 2 other couples who live in Delhi. The guys all know each other from their university days at IIT Delhi. At one point during lunch, the topic of how each couple met, decided to marry, and shared news with family came up. One couple was an arranged marriage, another was an intercaste love marriage, and then there was us. It was both humorous and comforting to exchange these stories.
On Monday morning, we woke up and made a plan to get Vikram to his visa appointment and all of us to the airport for our 2:00pm flight from Delhi to Jodhpur. It was down to the wire, but luckily Vikram's visa appointment went smoothly and we were all able to head together to Jodhpur.
Civil Ceremony, Dec 10
As a few snow flakes fell in the morning I thought to myself how odd it was that we would be celebrating our marriage with snowflakes and then later with 70 degree weather. On further thought, I realized that the contrast was quite fitting for our month of contrasting and diverse marriage celebrations. Leah tried to convince me that it is good luck if it snows on your wedding day. I know that she was only making things up to calm me down like the good sister that she is, but I chose to believe it anyway. With all of the plans, travel arrangements, and coordinating that we needed to pull off over the next few weeks, we could use all of the luck that we could get to make sure everything went smoothly.
Being the super planner that I am, I insisted that we head off to the court house first thing in the morning to get our marriage license. We were both nervous, giddy, and full of excitement so we rushed through this process. As soon as we got home, the action started full force. I was on the phone non stop with family coming in to down and Abhijeet and Vikram were headed out to pick up the food for the day. I purposely scheduled a manicure for Leah and I in the morning so that I would have at least 30 minutes of uninterrupted sister time to relax and not be able to move or do anything. Little did I realize then, but this is basically what happens in the mehendi (henna) party the day before an Indian wedding. The bride and other ladies are forced to sit for the henna painting to be done to them and they relax and spend the time together. I guess it is a known fact that brides around the world are stressed out the day or minutes before marriage and must be forced into primping rituals that will restrain them from any other chores, errands, etc for at least a short time.
After the manicure, Leah and I headed back to the apartment and continued wedding preparations. Even though Leah was busy working on my hair and makeup, this did not stop me from ordering everyone around to eat, shower, and get ready. I had my moments of being a bridezilla and I took it seriously! Needless to say, by 1:40pm, we were all ready and the caravan to Old Town Alexandria began for step one of marriage celebration. The whole family in attendance gathered outside a historic building in Alexandria for a photo shoot. Since it was a chilly December day, we only made the whole family endure a few pictures. Then Abhijeet, Becca, Vikram (Abhijeet's brother) and Leah (Becca's sister) continued on for what remained of an hour long photo shoot. Despite the cold, we had a great time and the photographer's quirky sense of humor and constant rattling conversation helped everyone relax. Our ceremony was scheduled for 3:30pm and the rest of the family was waiting there as we came running up at 3:40pm. We were greeted at the door by the officiant and my family standing by the Christmas tree in a law office. Despite what seemed like fool proof planning, we managed to forget the marriage license in the back seat of the car and then found out that my name was printed incorrectly on the license. Lucky for us the court house was still open and we were able to follow through with our plans. When the document was finally ready, we headed in to a small room for an intimate and touching marriage ceremony. After "I do's", rings, and smiles, our love and commitment to each other was now official.
Being the super planner that I am, I insisted that we head off to the court house first thing in the morning to get our marriage license. We were both nervous, giddy, and full of excitement so we rushed through this process. As soon as we got home, the action started full force. I was on the phone non stop with family coming in to down and Abhijeet and Vikram were headed out to pick up the food for the day. I purposely scheduled a manicure for Leah and I in the morning so that I would have at least 30 minutes of uninterrupted sister time to relax and not be able to move or do anything. Little did I realize then, but this is basically what happens in the mehendi (henna) party the day before an Indian wedding. The bride and other ladies are forced to sit for the henna painting to be done to them and they relax and spend the time together. I guess it is a known fact that brides around the world are stressed out the day or minutes before marriage and must be forced into primping rituals that will restrain them from any other chores, errands, etc for at least a short time.
After the manicure, Leah and I headed back to the apartment and continued wedding preparations. Even though Leah was busy working on my hair and makeup, this did not stop me from ordering everyone around to eat, shower, and get ready. I had my moments of being a bridezilla and I took it seriously! Needless to say, by 1:40pm, we were all ready and the caravan to Old Town Alexandria began for step one of marriage celebration. The whole family in attendance gathered outside a historic building in Alexandria for a photo shoot. Since it was a chilly December day, we only made the whole family endure a few pictures. Then Abhijeet, Becca, Vikram (Abhijeet's brother) and Leah (Becca's sister) continued on for what remained of an hour long photo shoot. Despite the cold, we had a great time and the photographer's quirky sense of humor and constant rattling conversation helped everyone relax. Our ceremony was scheduled for 3:30pm and the rest of the family was waiting there as we came running up at 3:40pm. We were greeted at the door by the officiant and my family standing by the Christmas tree in a law office. Despite what seemed like fool proof planning, we managed to forget the marriage license in the back seat of the car and then found out that my name was printed incorrectly on the license. Lucky for us the court house was still open and we were able to follow through with our plans. When the document was finally ready, we headed in to a small room for an intimate and touching marriage ceremony. After "I do's", rings, and smiles, our love and commitment to each other was now official.
Invitation
We request the pleasure of your
gracious presence and blessings for
Wedding Reception
to celebrate the marriage of
Abhijeet
with
Rebecca
(D/o Late Karen and Gary Dean Bergey)
(Pennsylvania, USA)
On
Friday, December 24th, 2010
At 7:30 PM onwards
At
MS Marriage Garden,
Krishna Nagar, New Pali Rd., Jodhpur
Regards
Jamna Devi & Kishna Ram Dudi (Grandma & Grandpa)
Kamla & Surendra Singh Choudhary (Mother & Father)
Puspa & Vinod Kr. Dudi; Kiran & Mohan Singh Dudi;
Anju & Sukhram Dudi; Geeta & OmPrakash Dudi (Aunts & Uncles)
& VIkram Dudi (Brother)
& All Dudi Family
& All Relatives
Engagement Day Story
I began planning the details of engagement a couple of weeks in advance. One of our favorite spots in DC is the top of the Washington Monument. Getting to the top of the monument is not tricky if planned carefully. Typically, we only went to the monument when we had company from out of town. Asking Becca to go to the top just with me would have made her suspicious. So I began by telling her how beautiful the fall colors are (which they truly are) and how wonderful it would be to go up the monument to take some pictures. And she agreed!
We got the tickets for 4:30 PM, the time for the day's last elevator ride to go to the top of the monument. We were a little late in arriving to the monument on our engagement day but we made it just in time before the monument closed. Arriving late made our day very special as we were the only ones in the elevator with the guide on our ride to the top of the monument. This had never happened before. We always went up with elevator full of people. On the same hand, what arriving late did not help was with my nervousness. I was hoping to have enough time when we got to the top to feel relaxed before I proposed to her. My hopes vanished when the guide announced to us that we had less than 10 minutes to enjoy. I told myself, be cool and act fast! So at the first lookout window, I went through all that I had prepared and proposed to her. She began to cry and said yes!
Soon we were asked to board the elevator ride down as the monument was about to be closed. On our ride down, Becca's smiling face couldn't help but stare back and forth between the beautiful ring on her finger and me. Someone in the elevator whispered, "someone is engaged" and with that elevator came alive with "congratulations!" I remember our guide saying out loud, "oh my god, I just saw you 10 minutes ago. Congratulations!!!" The congratulatory notes did not just end there. While we were taking our first pictures as an engaged couple in the courtyard of the monuments, several visitors walked up to us to wish us congratulations. We felt strangely connected with all the strangers that we shared approximately 2 minutes on our ride down. To all the strangers who said congratulations, thank you!
And that's how we got engaged on top of the Washington Monument. I like to point that out to Becca every time the monument is in sight!
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